Lately

There are phases in everyone's life where it just seems like you can barely hold on without falling off the ride. This is a time like that for us. While my FIL was diagnosed two years ago with stage 4 prostate cancer, and my grandma fell at the beginning of February, it has all seemed a bit overwhelming the past 3 weeks. If we are being honest, it could ALWAYS be much worse, but the first 7 months of 2012 has been, well, crazy. For now, I have to let things go. My house is a mess, which really messes with my sanity, but I can only do so much. Mu husband is being neglected, but I guess I am too. We are holding strong and trying to spend time together when we can. Information does not get passed on as quickly, and it may be a few days before I get to tell him something, but it gets to him eventually. My support system with the boys has taken quite a hit. First I was unable to work because I lost my childcare (my wonderful MIL, then my wonderful mom) then I lost any backup as both my mom's were in and out of hospitals, doctor appointments, and just plain exhausted. In the meantime I have learned how to take care of myself in other ways like escaping for a few hours Saturday mornings and in the last month getting out to jog. We only got half of Brad's "stay cation" this month, but he was able to sit for over 15 hours with his mom as his dad went through emergency surgery. After we got through that as a family, my grandma went down hill. We've made a lot of trips to the "city" and have spent a lot of time in a couple different hospitals. I have also learned where I can pump in these places.... My mom and I have talked a lot about all of this being temporary and I have been reminded that this life itself is just temporary. This is not my permanent home. So we press on, making the best of each day. Enjoying the time with extended family even though we don't like why they had to come home and enjoying time with each other when we have a minute, even if in a surgery waiting room. In a week, a month, a year we will be in a new phase of life. I am hopeful that it may feel a bit slower and possibly involve a bit more sleep. If not, it's only temporary. :)