To work or not to work.

There are still lots of variables to take into accout yet, and we are still 4 (okay, 4.5) months away from baby #2, but I am in a dilema whether to go back to work or not.

Yes, I know, don't get upset.  I know so many women who would give there right fingerpainting finger to stay at home.  There are some days that I would too. 

I DID stay home.  The first nine months of our little man's existence I spent at home.  I didn't do so well, as you can read about in this post.  I also explained how I have changed my circumstances and I'm not so set up for failure with this one. And while I found a job to try to get out of the house a bit, it turns out that at the moment the income sure is nice for my family.

The  problem here is that I LIKE my job, borderline love but I'm not saying that.  If you've ever worked the 1st or 3rd at a bank you too would understand this. I like my coworkers, my boss, the actual entire company.  I don't make a lot of money but I make enough to help my family.

I work three days a week.  My MIL watches Asher and I even get to see him on my lunch hour since she is so close.  How awesome is that?

The problem is that three days a week often feels like a lot.  I know, I know, my mom worked full time, my MIL worked full time- I'm not saying anything is wrong with that.  However in our case I have never become fully comfortable with that much time away.  Everytime I am dropping things (not the child) trying to get out the door I think "why am I doing this?".  When we have to miss our monthly playdate I enjoyed attending, or when I have to go to work on Moday after a busy weekend, or when I am so exhausted after working the drive-through Thursday AND Friday on the 1st AND the 3rd that I can't fix dinner or even play with my child, I feel like something is wrong. 

Then my two days off during the week are spent trying to catch-up on housework with play breaks and driving everywhere to keep appointments.  I wanted to go visit a friend in Columbus next week, but I have appoinments scheduled on both days, how's that going to work?

I don't want to make this seem like I am complaining, I know I have it pretty darn good.  I am just in a dilema and somedays the answer to this is clearer than others.  I pray that God would let me see the solution clearly and I would prefer that answer to come before maternity leave.  In the meantime I will enjoy being at work and home and thank God for that time at both.